Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Some Day I'll Get There!


Are there levels of dissapointment? S0metimes people just generally fail to live up to your expectations. And sometimes, betray and lies dissapoint, I know.
But what about the time when there is no coming back from it? Like all the trust, respect and love you had for the person looks so minute and meagre when weighed against the dissapointment? Can you ever get over it? 'To forgive is divine' they say. But can there be a time when it's not in your capacity to forgive anymore? What if I have to shut things/people out in order to grow, in order to shun something I've been so used to, because it's doing nothing but sucking the life out of you?


Sigh. I hate change. How do I get over something I've been so used to? Somehow I had made peace with the regular dissapointments. But there is a line you just don't cross, right? You have to stop letting yourself be used and stop throwing yourself out there somehow, no matter how strong it needs you to be. Argh. I need strength. Anyone selling any? :S

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Reminiscence :)


Amidst all the parties and socialising, programming books and facebook, the heartbreaks and the gossip, the bunked lectures and attendance shortages, you can’t say that college hasn’t changed you even a little! Bathing and sleep lose their importance, friends and their needs become the priority. The closer you get to graduating, the more your heart wants to say “Arrey, bhad mein jaye duniya.” From the value of last minute studying just the night before to what a life savoir a packet of maggi can be on a long sleepless night, college has taught me A LOT. Here are the five very important lessons of life I learnt here!

      1. Before coming so far far away from my cozy red bedroom, I used to think living by myself in the big bad world, away from my family would be the best thing ever. My freedom, my rules, no questions asked! Sounded like heaven! Now I wonder, “what was I thinking?!” Mom was always there to wake me up! If I had an errand to run or a friend to meet, there would always be a chauffeur driven car waiting at the gate. When I returned home mom would have dinner ready! And now, I have to rely on my unreliable alarm clock, worry about my next meal (the month ends being a nightmare!), clean my room, do my dishes, no shopping with mommy’s credit card AND do my own laundry. How hard it is to know that I can’t just walk across the hall and spill whatever’s bothering me and know that everything will be taken care of. Now I would happily exchange my ‘freedom’ for my family and the washing machine!
       2. I truly learnt the value of money HERE. Man, how hard it is to not be a whiny boy who gets everything they want! Every third day I wake up wishing I had "Bill Gates" bank balance! After coming here and being given a monthly allowance I learnt to truly appreciate how hard it is to earn every rupee and how much harder it is to not spend it on every frivolous whim!
       3.Everyone’s blindly looking for love! I know so many people who say that they don’t have time for love, or are not willing to share their ‘personal space’ just yet, they’re all just kidding themselves. Truth is, everyone’s looking for that one person who’ll fill the colour in their rainbows and carry them off to their happily ever after. Everyone is scared of loneliness and everyone dreads being left behind. All of us want to be loved and want someone to claim that we’re the reason for their smile.
      4. This one I learnt the hard way-how hard it is to be truly happy! Seems so trivial when I say it out loud, but it’s so true! Every day is a new struggle and everyone’s just trying to be happy in their own space, in their own twisted way. And it’s incredibly hard, if you ask me. But the biggest truth of all, it’s always ME first for everyone, not in a spiteful way, mind you, it’s just how we were wired.
      5. The last one’s a little sad actually, but equally true-How hard it is to keep in touch! All those promises we made in school, all the ‘we’ll be best friends for ever okay’ and the ‘we’ll talk everyday NO MATTER WHAT’ all seem like a lifetime ago! Not like I didn’t mean it then, just seems like these promises were made by this immature version of me who had no idea what was coming. There are times I think about my friends and wish I could fill them in on every tiny detail, but it’s all so much of an effort and with so much already going on, it just seems impossible.
I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have learnt any of these if I studied back at home, living my comfortable and protected life, but I can’t deny that there aren’t days when I just want to leave everything in exchange for mom’s cooking and to play on the ps3 with my big brother. Why oh why was I in such a hurry to grow up! What I would give to go back.......



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Friday, March 18, 2011

The Hangover!!

Well after a long long time period got to meet some really good friends .. followed by  long lasting refreshing ride.. and some talks of wisdom.. which is pretty the issue with me this time.. 
dunno why but as you grow p in your life. the way you talk and things you talk over with your friends changes.. 
At the early time "the teenage i mean" use to  have talks like "chicks" ,"Bikes" and "sex" for sure.. but as you move on in life it changes "responsibilities" , "Money" and nevertheless "marriage" and yeah the last one came up as an surprise to me for sure.. 
And then the discussion changes from who u presently dating and stuff?? and moresoever are you serious with her?? I mean wtf? why the hell conversation always have to be in the same old fashion? 
Anyways.. the evening ought to be melodramatic with all the emotional stuff associated with it... but hey.. who cares.. !!?? 
Just living the moment!! :)

Monday, January 31, 2011

A Very Fine evening..

And here i start with my first ever "blog writing" as they say ,of my life.. i never really understood what should i start with .. but then i thought why shouldn't i describe something which was great to really share about.. well just came from a Leprocsy  center..  yes they same disease in which you land loosing your fingers gradually.. it was really pain full to see them with no one to take care of them .. just living with their miseries ! There were some temples around..and some people dedicating themselves to take care of these people..
And within these people there were some never forgetting faces which took my heart away.. they were so innocent , and they were really wanting to say something.. they wanted to speak their heart out.. but there was something which was getting hold to them.. and they were speechless///!